#31: Reflections on 2024
Reflections, challenges, growth, surprises, memz, and intentions for 2025 (locking in).
What a year.
2024 was, without a doubt, the biggest year of my life so far.
I left a long-term relationship, I left Vancouver—the city I’d lived in for the past 3 years—and I committed to joining a startup accelerator. And that was just January!
This year it’s felt like I’ve lived a whole decade. And about time too. Last December I wrote:
“I am so close to living the life I want… but I’ve not quite been being the person I should be. The person I need to be.”
And, quoting Sam Altman, quoting someone else:
“The great end in life is not knowledge, but action”.
I had just quit my job with no plan to get a new one. A part of me knew back then I was gearing up for some significant change. And I’m proud to report that 2024 was the year I took action:
I left a long-term relationship.
I moved back to London.
I joined Entrepreneur First and met my co-founder.
Together, we started a company.
I competed in the Touch Rugby World Cup for Canada.
I moved to San Francisco.
I sold hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of software contracts.
I raised millions of dollars in venture capital.
Our company, AMT, delivers value for real customers who are paying us real revenue.
I decided to move to San Francisco permanently.
And I made over 30 new friends this year, many of whom I know will be friends for life :)
Challenge: rejection, hurting people, burnout
But 2024, in addition to being the best year of my life, was also the hardest:
I suffered more rejection (by would-be lovers, investors, teammates, customers) this year than every other year combined.
I had a micro-breakdown every couple of months.
I hurt some people I really care about. :(
I worked too hard and was unkind to myself for multiple months at a time. This combination burned me out.
Being burned out meant I couldn’t work as hard as I wanted to on AMT. This made me feel very ashamed. It felt like I was letting everyone down.
Perhaps 2024 has been the biggest year because it has been the hardest.
I’ve done lots of hard things in my life, but 2024 was the year that I felt in my very bones that doing hard things is fucking awesome.
It’s awesome because every time you reach your limits, you recover, and you grow a bit bigger. And every time you accomplish a task that a part of you feels is impossible you build trust in yourself, you feel more secure, you release your inhibitions, you feel more free.
Growth: selling, fundraising, and learning how to clean my bedroom.
Here are some of the ways I grew this year:
I learned how to sell.
I learned how to fundraise.
I learned how to ask for help.
I learned how to host enjoyable work-related events.
I learned how to be vulnerable and share how I’m feeling.
I drastically reduced my dependence on alcohol. I still drink (I am writing this with a champagne hangover—happy new year!) but feel 10x less compulsion around booze.
I unlocked the ability to spend money on myself. I eat better, dress better, look better, smell better, and feel better in myself.
I annihilated my fear of public speaking.
I now keep my bedroom clean and beautiful.
I am capable of taking a day off and doing nothing. I am capable of going to the gym in the middle of the work day. I feel less compelled by the need to be productive right now.
I have dramatically improved my relationship with my family.
In 2024 I have become much more like the person I want to be. I’m grateful for it.
Good Memories: Weddings, ego-death, and anaphylactic shock
Some especially memorable moments:
Accidentally eating a way too strong edible and finding god on my first night in SF
Nearly dying by having my worst allergic reaction in 15 years (RIP cashew mac n cheese)
Dislocating my finger attempting to bat-on a rugby ball
Scoring a try against England in the touch rugby world cup
My co-founder and I pitching a very senior ad exec at the top floor of the shard while having no idea what we were doing
Signing a term sheet in Orrick’s offices in downtown SF
Taking a same-day flight back to the UK for a powwow with my co-founder and a customer on-site
Running AMT’s first company retreat in my favourite place in the world, Nendaz, Switzerland
Witnessing two of my beautiful friends get married
Pitching AMT to a room filled with 100s of investors
Surprises: Feelings are good, actually
The biggest surprise of this year has been how feelings-pilled I’ve become.
Two years ago I thought therapy was cope and a waste of time. This year I’ve done internal family systems therapy almost every week, and have spent a substantial chunk of my free time reading and reflecting on my relationships with others and myself.
Books that, a year ago, I would’ve dismissed as woo quackery, I now re-read and contemplate deeply. Some particularly influential ones have been The Untethered Soul, Loving What Is, and Healing The Shame That Binds You.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that therapy and self-reflection has changed my life.
I wouldn’t be running a cool startup if I hadn’t done it. And I would be substantially less happier if I hadn’t done it.
Quietly, mostly without bothering anyone, I have spent pretty much my entire life very stressed out—without even noticing how stressed I am.
Continually hitting my limits this year has made me realise that the “problems” that have been causing my stress aren’t in the world—they are inside of me.
I have a lot of work to do and I am proud of how far I have come :)
2025: Time to LOCK IN
Where a man’s wound is, that’s where his genius will be.
2024 has been a year of discovering my genius—and predictably, it’s right where I’ve been most ashamed to look.
My main childhood wound has been suffering through difficulties building relationships while having to move countries again, and again, and again.
I moved schools 12 times as a child. I’ve been in two long-distance relationships, and for an important time in AMT’s history, I was in a long-distance relationship with my co-founder. Because of this, I have more experience attempting to connect and relate to new people than almost anyone.
Now, I’m building a company that essentially automates long-distance relationships with AI.
A word on AMT: We automate partnerships end-to-end using AI, directly replacing a brand’s partnerships team. We’re starting by automating partnerships between brands and influencers, and eventually we’ll automate all marketing partnerships, then all partnerships, and then all non-creative marketing jobs.
If you’re a brand interested in growing your influencer marketing program without growing headcount—get in touch!
AMT’s vision is in it’s name: we’re building an Autonomous Marketing Team.
Naval has a quote that goes something like: “Continually redefine what you do until you’re the best in the world at that thing.”
As far as I know, I’m the only person in the world who has personally negotiated hundreds of influencer marketing partnerships, built AI products for tens of millions of people, and been in long-distance relationships for over 20 years of my life.
And I’ve built marketing teams too :)
When you put it that way, it feels like I was born to build this company.
I’m looking forward to locking in and putting most of my life energy into AMT in 2025.
New Year’s Intentions:
I want over 100 paying customers and $3m ARR for AMT by end of 2025.
I want to build AMT out of a core motivation of love—not power or fear.
I want to have a kind, loving, beautiful girlfriend who helps me become the person I want to be (and who I help become the person she wants to be).
I want to make friends with at least 20 founders who are “further along” than I am. Series A+.
I want to make San Francisco my home.
I want to try scouting for a VC fund.
I want to wean “I/we should” from my vocabulary and instead speak directly from what I want in my heart.
I want to learn to keep my heart open in every situation I find myself in.
I want to notice when I feel the urge to skip steps, and make sure I put one foot in front of the other in every situation.
I want to harness my competitive drive in a sustainable healthy way (not an unsustainable, unhealthy way).
I want to become more patient with myself and others.
I want to read more fiction.
I want to learn to dance.
I want to learn to drive.
I want to write more.
If you can help me with any of this, reach out—I’d love to chat :)
Some things I’m ready to let go of in 2025:
The desire to control outcomes.
The desire to defend myself from criticism.
The desire to interfere in other people’s business.
The fear of sharing who I really am with the world.
The desire to be perceived as perfect / above reproach.
Anxiety about what other people think and what they might do.
The alternative fantasy lives I could be living in a different world (investor, founder of another company, travelling writer, etc) but am not living in this one.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to writing more to you soon :)
Hey Thomas, I really enjoyed reading your reflection. Keep up the great work.